SECTION 4
Talking with young people about internet use
The internet plays a significant role in the
lives of children and young people and
is integral to their social development as
they get older. It no longer makes sense to
distinguish between ‘life online’ and ‘real
life,’ because a child’s introduction to the
internet often starts from the moment they
are old enough to hold a connected device.
Whatever your level of knowledge or
confidence, these five tips and conversation
starters will help you initiate, manage,
and maintain an open and honest dialogue
with children about being online, and help
you support them to use technology safely
and positively.
1. BE POSITIVE AND OPEN MINDED ABOUT THE INTERNET
It’s important to recognise the exciting opportunities that going online can offer children and young people. Although the children you care for, or work with, may use the internet differently from you, their experiences are still significant. If a child mentions something you haven’t heard of, ask them to show you, or explain in more detail, or you may do your own research. Try to keep conversations about the internet broad, and value children’s opinions when they’re talking about what they enjoy doing, to show that you are interested in all aspects of their online world.
2. TALK EARLY AND OFTEN
The most effective way to deal with any online issue is to make conversations about the internet a part of everyday routine. Talking openly about life online from an early age can be a helpful bridge to sharing safety messages and addressing more difficult conversations later; it also shows your child that you are someone who knows about the internet and can help them.
3. CREATE A SAFE SPACE FOR CONVERSATIONS
Look for opportunities to talk together. Sometimes, talking face-to-face can feel difficult, so talking alongside each other when out for a walk, when travelling, or whilst doing an activity together for example, are options that might make it easier. The environment needs to be right too; free from unwanted distractions, so that everyone involved can concentrate fully and knows that they are being listened to.
Remind the child often that they can talk to you about anything, no matter how difficult, and that they will not be judged or blamed. A child might not be ready to share something straight away, so show them that you are there to listen whenever they are ready, without pressuring them to talk, or provide them with alternative ways to communicate e.g., writing it down. Talking about something from the point of view of their wider peer group can also be helpful, so they aren’t sharing first-hand experiences.
4. KEEP IT RELEVANT
As they get older, children will use technology differently from when they first went online. Their knowledge and understanding will grow too, as will the challenges they may face on the internet. To get a sense of how much they know and what support they still need, ask open ended questions to let your child lead the conversations you have. There are appropriate ways to approach all online safety topics with different ages. For example, with a teenager, nude images can be spoken about in wider conversations around consent and healthy relationships. For younger children, you could discuss what types of images are okay to share online, and what parts of our bodies are private.
5. BE PROACTIVE
Working together to create an agreement that outlines how the internet and technology will be used within the family, or within an educational setting, is a useful way to set clear expectations and boundaries. You might include time spent online; who your children can communicate with; appropriate apps and games; and why safety tools are helpful to block and report inappropriate content. Ask the child what they would do if something went wrong online and they needed help, and reinforce the importance of telling an adult as soon as anything happens that makes them feel upset, worried, or uncomfortable in any way.
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